Dating while going through custody battle

Who knows your habits better than your ex? They know where you party. If they are attempting to make you look bad, what better way than to get video footage of you drunk at the bar. And while we are on the topic of bars: These types of activities will only make you look bad at trial, as there is no way to spin frequenting bars and acting like a drunk for a judge. Believe it or not, the risks of unintentionally behaving badly after a night at the bar far outweigh the benefits, even though it may not always feel that way. Even if you believe you always have and do to this day, now is the time to be even more diligent.

And honestly, your kids need it right now more ever.

1. Has your dating life affected your ability to care for your child?

Custody battles are frustrating and hard. DO give the judge as many reasons as possible to like you not only as a parent, but also as a person, and to rule in your favor. Fighting for your children is a hard enough process to go through. DO everything with the best outcome for your children in mind.

Laurie Schmitt of Schmitt Law, PLLC, is a West Michigan family law attorney specializing in collaborative divorce as well as separation, divorce, child custody and support, paternity, and other family law litigation. She is licensed by Michigan State Bar and the U.

District Court for the Western District of Michigan, and has extensive advanced training in divorce mediation and collaborative divorce. Tuesday, 12 January Emotions and feelings of betrayal or entitlement aside, you need to understand what any judge hearing your child custody case will be concerned with. Be proactive about addressing issues your children may be having in school. Instead, DO focus on your kids because it shows the court that you are placing the children's needs ahead of your own.

But what if I really, really need to date? Ideally, we could have met later down the road, but things don't always work out that perfect in real life.

Dating during custody battle

Divorcing guys with kids - what do you think? Share Share this post on Digg Del. Take a few steps back and let him get his divorce, child custody situated. People are very rarely capable of dating in a cohesive, emotionally mature way until they have these things behind them a bit.

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If there's any battles in divorce, it's probably a dynamic to avoid until things are settled. With children, even more so. Children run to the essence of who we are; our biological imperative.

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Often, in a divorce, children are pivotal to the issues and the emotions surrounding the process. Here's a boundary I use with women in such circumstances. I'm a supportive and understanding man. I empathize with their struggles. When I share positive and negative issues from my life, I watch for proactive support and empathy. If I don't see it, I discontinue dating them.

There is imbalance psychologically. The other person is so wrapped up in their own stuff there is no room for someone else in any substantive way. This is part of why the LS ladies opined, when I solicited their opinion, that they would not date me as a separated man. I thought, even if a bit painful to hear, it was a wise perspective. My advice is, if you don't sense balance in your interactions with this man, give him the time and autonomy to process his issues. We can do it.

If you are constantly showing anger and negativity towards your ex-spouse, your child will likely experience some confusion or anxiety as a result of your resentment towards the other parent. To win a child custody case, you should show the judge that you wish to promote the best interest of your child. This may mean encouraging the relationship your child and the other parent have together.

If your current relationship only leads you to disparage the other parent, this can keep you from winning your custody battle in court. You and your current partner might harbor negative feelings towards your former spouse as you work through the divorce; however, it is important for you to maintain self-control. Any violent incident or angry outburst that occurs can be held against you in court. Neither you, nor your current partner, should act out in front of teachers, friends, neighbors or peers. Most importantly, neither of you should act out in the courtroom, especially towards the judge.

This is a sure way to reflect a lack of self-control which will likely result in losing your custody battle. On that same note, any past instances of your partner acting out in front of the child will harm your case. If a judge feels that granting you custody will put your child in an unstable environment, your chances of winning are greatly diminished.